The Legend of the World's Worst High School Spanish Teacher

I enjoy listening to Salsa music and Mexican folk even though I don't have the slightest idea of the lyrics. I was following someone ion Twitter who only posted in Spanish and I don't spoeak it all ---Mrs. Fishman -- she wasw such a bad teacher, I remember sayingt back n high school that Mrs. Fishman is such a bad teacher that if her former stiudents found themselves in a situationl where it was crucial that they speak Spanish and that the only Spaanish fly they had to learn just one phrase -- just one -- "Yo tengo Mrs. Fishman en my poket."

but it'd save their lives if the situation was involved,he run upstairs and try to hide in 5ad's suitcase and play "Hungry, Hungry Hungry Hippo."

Shady Rest Researchers complete Exploding Head Syndrome vaccine with unexpected results

JD Salinger is dead, 9th grader is, like, whatever

9th grader Todd Lagina doesn't care that the author of "Catcher in the Rye" died yesterday, he still won't read the book. Todd said, "I hate reading to begin with. And books are so over anyway. I'm not gonna read any of the books assigned just because they were assigned. Why would I want to read some old book just 'cause the dude who wrote it who I know absolutely nothing about died today? Of natural causes. I could see maybe being curious if he was, like, brutally murdered, but Saladger died in his sleep."


When asked if he'd read "Castcher in the Rye" on his Kindle, Lagina stared at this reporter for a long awkward moment and then walked away."

New Feature: Traffic & Weather Updates

Traffic and Weather together every two minutes, all day, every day. Non-stop. Continuously.

The San Fernando Valley was hit with five straight days of rain last week, forcing the closure of the foot bridge.

Please be aware that even though the sun has returned and the weather is more agreeable, the bridge will not be open for foot traffic until the end of the week. The water level has returned safely below the bridge, but the bridge is still wet and will take a few more days to dry off.


“Caution” and “Careful: Wet Floor” signs have been posted to indicate the areas that should be avoided until the end of the week. 

It has been brought to the Administration's attention that several residents believe the signs should read:

“Caution” & “Careful: Wet Ground” 

The Administration thinks the issue is very important and very special and will consider it at the next board meeting.

Magic Dulles Flight Forced to Land in Denver

A United Airlines flight headed for Las Vegas was forced to divert and land in Denver after an unruly passenger attempted to enter the cockpit.  Several passengers and flight attendants noticed the man who is currently being held for questioning.  The man allegedly rushed to the cockpit door and attempted to pry it open.  Several passengers restrained the man as the plane changed course and landed safely in Denver.

A flight attendant onboard said: “It's basically impossible to get into the cockpit while the plane is in flight.  And don't get me started on how these plans even fly."

He waits for the reporter to ask, but the reporter just looks at him. The flight attendant says: “Well, the plane flies with the help of science, obviously, but mostly the energy produced by millions of microscopic flying unicorn wings flapping in the skies. They're in the sky, but we can't see them."

Reporter: "Because they're microscopic?"

Flight Attendant: "No. They're magic."

Reporter stops taking notes and says: "I see. Thanks for your time." He starts to walk away.

The Flight Attendant follows and says:"Aviation is just as much magic as it is science."

Reportert: "You're freaking me out, stop following me!"

Squirrels seem like they fuck a lot.