Breaking News - Chuck Norris Goes to the Hospital

Laguna Beach, California. On the set of his latest sport equipment infomercial, Chuck Norris was rehearsing a fake fight scene with eight stunt ninjas and tore his fake hamstring. He was rushed to the hospital where an emergency fake hamstringplasty was performed. Christie Brinkley said, "Chuck was doing a big kick and then it sounded like his pants ripped. I didn't see it. I was busy tending to the bounce and overall body of my hair."

The doctor conducting the hamstringplasty, reknown hamstring surgeon Vikram Silverstein said, "Despite the critical nature of the injury, we were able to repair it quite easily. In fact, in my humble opinion, Mr. Norris will be able to look down at his hamstring and think, 'Hey, is that my hamstring or Matt Damon's?'"

MTV viewers will note that Norris went to the same hospital that's been doing all the plastic surgery on the girls on "The Hills".