Ordered Wii-inhaler, Will Arrive in 4-6 Weeks

As previously reported, one resident's finely honed digital character on the floor Wii-game system has developed Wii-sports induced asthma. A Shady Rest doctor prescribed a Wii-inhaler to resident Jeffrey Evans this morning. Evans said, "I feel great. It was hard at first. You know, 'cause I thought it was a real inhaler. The, uh, laser thingy sorta burned my throat. Craziest thing. It just tickled at first, but then a few minutes later, whoa boy, it was all sort of horrible... Everything's fine now, except I can't eat hot foods or cold foods, anything with a crust... room temperature shakes mostly... Bowled a bunch of turkeys, though, so that totally makes it worth it."