Crime Watch – Breakfast Burrito Advocate Murdered, Balanced Breakfast Crew Ruled Out as Suspects

Shady Rest. Paul Gloman, the man responsible for championing the breakfast burrito onto the menu at his local Applebees, was found beaten to death behind the restaurant at approximately four a.m. this morning. Shady Rest Police Spokeswoman Lori Starburger said, “At this time, we do not consider the Balanced Breakfast Crew to be suspects. Despite what some of the media has been reporting, we have yet to find any evidence that puts either Milk or Orange Juice in the neighborhood at the time of the attack.” Starburger refused to comment about Toast.