Bill Clinton Calms Democratic Racial Storm

Today, Bill Clinton acted as a peacekeeper for wife Hillary and Barack Obama after the two clashed over race. For Bill, the solution was simple. The two candidates just needed to sit back, relax and enjoy The Bucket List.

During the film’s intermission, Bill met with ushers (and reporters) in the lobby and said, “If they [Jack Nicholson and Morgan Freeman] can make it up there there, Hill and Obama can make it down here. You know what they need? The same thing America needs. (thumb out) A list. Now, point me towards the SnoCaps and Dewars -- I mean Diet Coke. And SnoCaps. Little things are like crack candy. I can't get enough of 'em.”