Today marks the 40th anniversary of Earth Day and to commemorate this ocassion, the Shady Rest Rest-Stops wrote a poem today, and it's already receiving critical acclaim. The Rest-Stops are a comedy vocal group. Dr. Carlos Millar said, "Are you at all familiar with the Capitol Steps? They focus on current events and political satire with the intensely bland wit Leno wishes he used to have. And they sing. Dreadful. Awful, really. The Rest-Stops are fine -- they're just boring."...Ladies and gentlemen, The Daily Bee proudly introduces The Shady Rest Rest-Stops and their brand new poem for Earth Day 2010...
EVERY TIME YOU SLAP A HIPPIE, A MANATEE BURPS
Every time you slap a hippie, a leaf grows. Every time you slap a hippie, a penguin jumps up and kicks its feet in the air.
Every time you slap a hippie, a manatee burps.
Every time you slap a hippie, Sara Palin gets bullied by a moose.
Every time you slap a hippie, Glen Beck spills mustard on the front of his jeans.
Every time you slap a hippie, Ann Coulter stabs her cornea with her mascara doodad.
Every time you slap a hippie, Dick Cheney gets a mesquite-n'-cheddar-flavored corn-nut stuck between his teeth.
Every time you slap a hippie, a wombat bites Bill O'Reilly in the nuts.
Every time you slap a hippie, Justin Bieber gets such a big pimple even ProActiv Acne Fighting System can't help.
Every time you slap a hippie, a choir sings "Go Fuck Yourself" to Bernie Goldberg and Fox News and Jon Stewart gets a residual.
Every time you slap a hippie, he/she will say, "What's with the violence, bro? I'm just twirlin'. Do you have drugs I can eat?"
Scram, you loitering, littering hippies. And remember, if you see a hippie today, slap 'em. Earth thanks you.
