Shady Rest Dating Scene - Stutter, Just be Patient

A STUTTERER, RICKY, IS ON A BLIND DATE WITH AN INDECISIVE WOMAN, CHERYL.

Ricky: “W-w-w-w-w-w-where would you l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-l-like to go for d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-d-dinner?”

Cheryl: “I don’t know. Whatever you want.”

Ricky: “What k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-k-kind of f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-f-food are you in the m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-m-mood for?”

Cheryl: “Anything, really.”

Ricky: “C-c-c-c-c-could you pick?”

Cheryl: “I’m not good at picking restaurants."

Ricky: "Well, what k-k-k-k-kind of food do you want?"

Cheryl: "Oh, I don't care, really. I’m totally not a picky eater. I’ll pretty much eat whatever you put in front of me. So, wherever you want, I'm game.”

Ricky: “Great. Then Indian, it is.”

HE STARTS WALKING DOWN THE STREET.

Cheryl: “Indian?”

Ricky: “I t-t-t-t-t-t-t-take it you d-d-d-d-d-d-d-don’t like Indian?”

Cheryl: “Not really, no.”

Ricky: “Oh.”

Cheryl: “I’m sorry.”

Ricky: “It’s no problem. W-w-w-w-w-what about Italian?”

Cheryl: “Ooh, that's my favorite!”

Ricky: “Oh, mine too. You're going to love this place I know on Third.”

Cheryl: “Do you mean Mama LaPasta's?”

Ricky: “Yeah.”

Cheryl: “Ooh, my best friend, Diane, went there and did not give it a favorable review.”

Ricky: “Then g-g-g-g-g-g—“

Cheryl: “Gorgonzola's on Montana? I love that place.”

Ricky: “Then g-g-g-g-g-go yourself, bitch.”

HE WALKS OFF.

Cheryl: "Huh -- But -- Why -- What -- Pfft. How rude."

Science Beat - Prehistoric AMPTP Man Discovered

Phoenix, Arizona. Shockwaves were felt throughout the archaeology world today when an excavation of a Hochapawnee Indian burial ground led to the discovery of a skeleton fossilized in the ground. Upon removing the find, researchers noticed the body was clinging to several slabs of soapstone. The stones were sent to a lab at Arizona State University for further study. Paleontologist Liore Palmer said, “The University isn’t going to make an official announcement until we’ve had a chance to examine all 22 slabs, but at this point, we believe we’ve found the world’s first episodic stories etched into soapstone.”

At the end of the press conference, Palmer handed reporters some initial transcriptions from the slabs. A portion of that document is listed below:

A CAVEMAN SITS NEAR FIRE IN A CAVE, SCRATCHING A THIN SLAB OF MARBLE WITH A CRUDE ROCK TOOL. HE GRUNTS AND HANDS IT OFF TO A CAVEBOY, WHO WALKS OUT OF THE CAVE AS CLOG, THE NEIGHBOR, WANDERS IN.

Clog: “Hey, Blog… Blog.”

BLOG GRUNTS AT HIM.

Clog: “I gotta tell you something.”
Blog: “Busy. Work. No talk.”
Clog: “Fine, no problem. It's about your story slabs. You're not going to like it."
Blog: “Who do what?”
Clog: “Oh, it’s nothing. You work.”
Blog: “Tell me.”
Clog: “No, don't worry about it. Finish your slab. I'll come back later.”

BLOG THROWS THE SLAB AT CLOG.

Clog: “Okay, okay. Someone’s making copies of your slabs onto, get this… soapstone.”
Blog: “Get out.”
Clog: “Okay.”

CLOG DROPS HIS HEAD AND STARTS TO LEAVE.

Blog: “Stop."
Clog: "But you said --"
Blog: "No mean it. Focus! Why someone put my story on soapstone?”
Clog: “Because it’s an easy and cheap way of distributing it to people.”
Blog: "Wait. People are buying it?"
Clog: "In droves."
Blog: "I can't believe it. I haven't gotten a fur or pelt or anything.”
Clog: "And you won't unless something's done about this injustice!"
Blog: “Who could be capable of such a thing? Nog? Rog? Oh, let me guess... is it Wog?”
Clog: “No, worse. Nick Counter.”
Blog: “Urgh! Me no like Counter!”

BLOG AND CLOG GRAB THEIR CLUBS AND HURRY OUT.

Pencils Down... uh, then what? Script Coordinator Undeterred by Uncertain Future

Laid off just days into the writers’ strike, script coordinator Adam F. has had tremendous difficulty finding work in other industries. He said, “As a script coordinator, I can type fast, listen and I know how to cheat page margins in two script writing programs so the script appears to be shorter than it actually is. I’m terrible on the phone, and I'm just not doing errands for other people. So yeah, I’m fucked.”

Adam has maintained a strict exercise regimen during the strike so that when the time comes to get back to work, he’ll be at the top of his game. “I wake up early and do lots of listening and typing sprints. It's a training mentality,” he said. “I’ve got this new drill where I pretend it’s moments before the writers start, and I have to pick a funny, yet timely image to use as the desktop background that’ll show up on the monitors. It’s a great real-time, real-world exercise, and it totally gets my heart pumping."

Shady Rest Safety Bulletin: Predator Alert Issued, Quickly Recalled

Shady Rest, CA. At 8:06am this morning, Shady Rest Community Safety Captain Bolden Grooks was out on her lawn doing her Tai-Chi stretches when she saw what appeared to be a mountain lion roaming along the Shady Rest Promenade. Grooks immediately dropped out of Depressed Dog and called authorities, who then issued an OBS Alert, also known as an Orange & Brown-Stripe Alert. 45 minutes later, at 8:51am, the Alert was officially recalled after Shady Rest Security Forces, many former Blackwater employees, surveyed the scene and determined that the mountain lion in question was none other than long-time Shady Rest resident, Tony the Tiger.

Upon his release from the Shady Rest Detention Center a few hours later, Tony's spirits remained high. Tony said, “Those guys were just doing their jobs. I mean, I have kids, so I get it. Security is important. And let me say that Bolden and the entire Shady Rest Administration are grrrrrrrrrrrr — (coughs) – pardon me. My larnyx is sore after being clotheslined repeatedly and thrown over the interrogation table by my head."

My Thoughts On “No Country For Old Men”

I remember learning about the concept of “constructive criticism” when I was in the fifth grade. I will not use it with my critique for “No Country For Old Men,” written and directed by the Coen brothers. This movie sucked hard.

1. The movie suffered from not having a soundtrack. I suggest Fergie and Carrie Underwood. Any duet to help the world forget about the Reba McEntyre/Kelly Clarkson fiasco.

2. Instead of being a small-town sheriff, Tommy Lee Jones’s character should’ve been a member of a secret international security force, the last line of defense for earth, known to a select few as the Men in Black. I suggest renaming the movie “No Country For Old Men in Black.”

3. The story lacks a climactic fight scene. Anton Chugurh has an industrial strength blow-gun. Llewelyn Moss should therefore be equipped with some kind of mega suck-device. When they finally confront each other, Moss should go after the bowl cut, and try to feather back Chugurh's sides. Winner takes all, including the boots. In the ensuing struggle, Chugurh can still win, but should come close to dying when his ears get either blown off, or sucked off, with the appropriate blood splatter effect thrown in.

4. Clarify the conflict between Chugurh and Woody Harrelson’s character. I think it’d be compelling if they both agreed to get the same big boy-bowl haircut and at the last minute, Woody backed out.

5. Instead of Texas, the movie should’ve been set in North Dakota. The Coen’s write that state funny. Regardless of location, someone needs to get tossed in a wood chipper.

6. Raise the financial stakes for Llewelyn. The script alludes to his obsession with boots. Maybe Llewelyn asked the mob to get him black market chupacabra-skin boots, thinking it'd just make him look tough. But then they managed to get their hands on some authentic boots, and Llewelyn finds himself in need of money, fast.

7. The jewel of the film is without a doubt Kathy Lamkin, the Desert Aire Manager. Explore her obsession with keeping up on every detail of the Moss’s whereabouts. I think Kathy found out Carla-Jean started taking a pole-dancing class, and she’s always curious to see what she’ll wear.

8. Three words: Donny and Marie. Make the original buyer of the dope Jimmy Osmond, the bearded one. Donny and Marie conduct a song and dance intervention at Christmas.

Celebrity News Brief – It Couple Calls It Quits

Beverly Hills, CA. The It Couple of the moment broke up today after meeting for sushi at the city’s It Spot. Representatives for both said their clients are “in the pits.” He hopes they can still be friends so he can continue to look at her tits. She quickly fired back on Larry King that she’s relieved they broke up. “I'm looking forward to some alone time, far away from his endless bits, skits, lists and fits.” His mother, and manager, told the ladies of "The View," “I'm happy they split. From the moment I met her, I thought she was a ditz.”

Despite their differences, it's rumored that these two distraught lovebirds are finding solace in the occasional Ritz. As she was leaving the news office she said, "Take a cracker, spread on a dab of peanut butter and put a raisin on top. Dee-lish."

Jam Band Fan Honors Jam Band on His Tuner, Some Friends Don't Get It

Todd Lagina, 17, a 2-time freshman at Shady Rest High School and self-proclaimed Dead-head, wrote the word “Phil” on a small piece of paper, and taped it onto his stereo tuner over the word "Bass," directly beneath the bass dial. Lagina did this as a tribute to the bassist for the Grateful Dead, Phil Lesh (pictured left). Lagina said, “It always cracks me up when people check out my stereo and go, 'Hey, why's it say 'Phil' there?' Every time, I just chuckle to myself and say 'Inside joke, bro. But you should totally check out the Dead'... Here, hit this."

When asked if he remembered what he was doing in 1995 when Jerry Garcia died, Lagina stated, “Not exactly. I was 2.” Lagina’s mother, Harriet Lagina recalled, “At 2, Todd did nothing but eat, nap and poop. Oh, and show his wee-wee to everyone who walked in the door... Here, hit this."

Crime Watch – Breakfast Burrito Advocate Murdered, Balanced Breakfast Crew Ruled Out as Suspects

Shady Rest. Paul Gloman, the man responsible for championing the breakfast burrito onto the menu at his local Applebees, was found beaten to death behind the restaurant at approximately four a.m. this morning. Shady Rest Police Spokeswoman Lori Starburger said, “At this time, we do not consider the Balanced Breakfast Crew to be suspects. Despite what some of the media has been reporting, we have yet to find any evidence that puts either Milk or Orange Juice in the neighborhood at the time of the attack.” Starburger refused to comment about Toast.

Heroes Scene Deleted from Deleted Scenes Bonus Feature

The following scene was originally shot for the Pilot episode for “Heroes,” but was cut due to time constraints. It was going to be on the “Deleted Scenes” portion of the Season One DVD of “Heroes,” but once again, was cut.

ODESSA, TEXAS

CLAIRE AND ZACH ARE WALKING HOME FROM SCHOOL THROUGH THE SPARSE TEXAS OUTBACK.

Claire: “Want to see something cool?
Zach: “Do I have to show you my ‘something cool' first?”
Claire: “Gross, no. It’s nothing like that.
Zach: “Oh. Well, can I show you my thing anyway? It’s really cool.”

CLAIRE WALKS TOWARDS A LARGE THORN BUSH AND DISAPPEARS INTO IT.

Zach: “Alright, fine. I’m sorry. You don't have to hide.”

WE HEAR RUSTLING.

Zach: “Claire?”

MORE RUSTLING FOLLOWED BY A SHRIEK.

Zach: “Claire!”

CLAIRE WALKS OUT HOLDING A RATHER LARGE SNAKE IN HER HAND.

Claire: “God, stop yelling.”
Zach: “What the hell was that?”
Claire: “Look, it’s a snake.”
Zach: What are you, the Snake Whisperer? Put it down.”
Claire: “I can’t.”
Zach: “What do you mean? Just drop it.”

SHE HOLDS UP HER HAND.

Claire: “See?!”

THE SNAKE’S TEETH ARE SUNK INTO HER HAND.

Zach: “Holy crap. Doesn’t that hurt?”

Claire: “Only a little. Relax.”

SHE RIPS THE SNAKE OFF HER HAND AND CHUCKS IT BACK INTO THE BRUSH. ZACH TRIES TO BREATHE.

Claire: “Zach, come on. Look.”
Zach: “No, you’re sick.”
Claire: (calmly) “Zach. Come on.”

HE LOOKS AT HER HAND AS THE PUNCTURE WOUNDS SUDDENLY HEAL THEMSELVES.

Claire: “See? No problem. I’m fine.”
Zach: “Oh, great. Perfectly norm--"

HE PASSES OUT.

TIME DISSOLVE:

CLAIRE’S STANDING OVER ZACH AS HE COMES TO.

Claire: “Welcome, back.”
Zach: “Hey.”
Claire: “Water?”

SHE HOLDS OUT A BOTTLE.

Zach: “Thanks.”

HE OPENS IT AND TAKES A SIP.

Zach: “What the hell was that?!”
Claire: “I don’t know.”
Zach: “What do you mean you don’t know? You just let a snake bite you and then you healed up like magic!”
Claire: “I have no idea! I think it started like a week ago.”
Zach: “How did you – why did you just do that?!”
Claire: “Uh, because I can.”

SHE WALKS QUICKER TO GET AHEAD OF HIM.

Zach: “Alright. I’m sorry.”
Claire: “No, forget it. I thought you’d be cool about this.”
Zach: “Why?”
Claire: “Because – I have no idea.”
Zach: “Look, I’m sorry for being weirded out, okay? But you have to admit, this is all pretty weird, Claire.”
Claire: “I know. I’m sorry, too. In hindsight, it might’ve been better to have just told you instead of letting a snake latch onto my hand.”
Zach: “Ya think?!”
Claire: “Come on. I’m trying here.”
Zach: (shrugs) “You’re right. It’s cool.”
Claire: “And we’re cool, right?”

HE DOESN'T SAY ANYTHING.

Claire: "Zach..."
Zach: "Fine."
Claire: "Yay!"
Zach: “Only if you do it again.”
Claire: “’Kay.”
Zach: "For real?"
Claire: "Yeah, why not?"
Zach: “I don't know. Hey, this time, you should totally let me, like, shoot an arrow at you or something.”
Claire: “OMG, I’ll put an apple on head! That’s so awesome! Do you want to film it with that new camera you got in your bag there?”
Zach: “Seriously?”
Claire: “As a heart attack.”
Zach: “Which you could totally survive.”
Claire: “I know, right?”
Zach: “Uh, but Claire?”
Claire: “Yeah.”
Zach: “You’re not going to wear that, are you?”
Claire: “What’s wrong with this? This is a cute outfit.”
Zach: “Yeah, but I was thinking more along the lines of a uniform.”

CLAIRE AND ZACH CONTINUE WALKING HOME.

Poll - What's More Difficult: Trying to catch a chicken in a backyard like in "Rocky," OR putting a leash on a cat and taking it for a walk?

Some dude on my street takes his cat for a walk on a leash. The cat looks like he could care less. But once, the cat stared right at me and mouthed, "Help me." Totally freaked me out. Do I call Animal Control, or try to get it on film first and send it to "America's Funniest Home Videos," and then call Animal Control?

News Brief - Man Considers Ambien, Settles on Asking Wife About Her Day

East Stroudsburg, PA. Enid Muggles noticed her husband, Arthur, was having trouble sleeping, so she suggested Ambien. Arthur consulted his doctor about it and was told to avoid taking any kind of sleep aid. Muggles' doctor, Dr. Stephen Schole said, "Arthur has eight hours a night to devote to a good night's sleep, but he operates heavy machinery for a living, so pills are out of the question."

Almost by chance, Muggles found an unlikely alternative to medical sleep aids. Muggles said, “One night, I asked Enid about her day, and I swear, by the time she got to the topic on Oprah, I was out like a light. So, I’ve been sticking to that.”

2 of the Guys in the Back of the 300

Frank Miller and Lynn Varley’s “300” is one of my favorite graphic novels. (photo at left is of the movie) 300 men face insurmountable odds, all willing to come face to face with their mortality. Really? All of them? What about the back 2, Prius and Garcius?

KING LEONIDAS LEADS HIS MEN TOWARDS THERMOPYLAE, AND THE HOT GATES.

Leonidas (off-screen): “Walk steady, children! For soon we’ll be marching in Hell!”
Garcius: “What’s he talking about?”
Prius: “We’re not going to make it out of this battle alive."
Garcius: “Wait. We're fighting to the death?”
Prius: “Yes, soldier.”
Garcius: “Really?”
Prius: “King Leonidas has been saying that from the start of our march.”
Garcius: “Has he said it a lot?”
Prius: “Every few minutes.”
Garcius: “Wow. I guess I wasn’t paying attention.”

THEY CONTINUE TO MARCH.

Garcius: “So, we’re not just going out, killing all the men in a town, and then going home?”
Prius: “Nope. The army we're facing has beasts from every corner of the globe, and the Immortals. May our deaths be quick and glorious."

GARCIUS COUGHS.

Prius: “You okay, soldier?”
Garcius: “Sure. (pats his chest) Just the tabouli I ate.”

THEY MARCH ON...

An Open Letter to Rude, Short People

If there’s an event I’m excited about going to, and I know in advance that it’s standing room only and first come-first serve, I’m going to get there early and get a good spot. If an elderly person, or a handicapped person wants to get in front of me just as the lights are dimming and the funky drums kick in, I’ll gladly take a step back. This compassion doesn’t extend to you, rude short person. You budge your way to the front of a crowd, like, “Out of my way, I’m short, I deserve to be up front.” You don’t. If you want a good spot, come early like everybody else. It's not my fault you didn't turn out taller. Or bring a booster seat to the event.

Listen here, short person. You're not a direct descendent of Napoleon. And unless you have an entire army behind you, you’re not slipping in front of me at the next The News* concert I attend.

(The News, formerly with Huey Lewis)

Blog to Read, Live By

This is my favorite new blog. Two writers are flicking their top two teeth with their thumbs at the AMPTP.

WHAT WE'RE NOT WRITING - millerandgreen.blogspot.com

They're coming up with some really funny loglines for shows they would've done, had they not been on strike.

[FEB 1, 2008: The Strike continues. Jonathan and Gabe are still going strong. I wonder though, will they ever expand these ideas? I hope so. It's great tv we're not watching.]

Breaking News - Chuck Norris Goes to the Hospital

Laguna Beach, California. On the set of his latest sport equipment infomercial, Chuck Norris was rehearsing a fake fight scene with eight stunt ninjas and tore his fake hamstring. He was rushed to the hospital where an emergency fake hamstringplasty was performed. Christie Brinkley said, "Chuck was doing a big kick and then it sounded like his pants ripped. I didn't see it. I was busy tending to the bounce and overall body of my hair."

The doctor conducting the hamstringplasty, reknown hamstring surgeon Vikram Silverstein said, "Despite the critical nature of the injury, we were able to repair it quite easily. In fact, in my humble opinion, Mr. Norris will be able to look down at his hamstring and think, 'Hey, is that my hamstring or Matt Damon's?'"

MTV viewers will note that Norris went to the same hospital that's been doing all the plastic surgery on the girls on "The Hills".

News Brief - Blockbuster Employee Admits to Fraud

Shady Rest, California. Melissa Mortimer, a Blockbuster employee since March 2007, admitted to her branch's manager, Richie Vandervistle, that she's been fraudulently copying data from the entertainment website RottenTomatoes.com, and passing it off as her own EMPLOYEE PICKS.

Vandervistle stated, "She corrupted the sanctity of Employee Picks. She lied, plain and simple. The only rotten tomato in our Blockbuster Store #653 bunch is Ms. Mortimer." He then puffed on his Camel Light several times before flicking it into the parking lot and going back inside.

When reached for comment, Mortimer said simply, "After a month of substandard, non-Emmy worthy new releases, the Picks became more of a chore than a love of mine. My heart just wasn’t in it anymore.”

News Brief - AMPTP Xmas Gifts - Baby Seal-skin Ipod Covers.

A high-ranking AMPTP member who wished to remain anonymous (Cick Nounter) told this reporter that the AMPTP was going to give lush blankets adorned with the AMPTP logo and 2007 in the center as this year's Christmas gift. Instead, because of undisclosed profits resulting from internet revenue specifically from scripted television programs, the Board will give every member of the AMPTP baby seal-skin Ipod covers. It's not waterproof, but it's fashionable. Nounter couldn't confirm whether or not the Ipod covers would be processed seal-skin, or if they're just gutted baby seals, laced up like a Chuck Taylor.

News Brief - Man Finally Settles On Signature for the Bank

Temecula, California. Preston Butterlick, a local vacuum cleaner salesman, announced today that he’s finally settled on a signature to use every time he makes official bank business.

Teller, Rachel Laredo, said, “I think it’s great. It’s something he can duplicate. With ATM deposits technology on the rise, signatures are becoming more and more important. Plus, he makes a real statement with his P and B. Big, bold, and cursive."

Butterlick also stated he will use this signature for all business related matters, but will not ignore his legendary autograph sketches he hands out every year at the Suc-Shack’s Annual BBQ Fireman’s Fundraiser. "After years of running around, signing my name crazy every time, I thought it was time to settle down." This reporter asked Mr. Butterlick if he was speaking about his signature, or his marriage. Butterlick stated, "That's absurd. Meredith and I have had our problems, just like any other couple, but we're working it out. It's like a job. An all day, on-call neverending job. Say, who wants some pulled pork?"

10 Things Overheard in the Moonves Home

I completely agree with everything TV Writers are currently striking for. And since I can't pitch on jokes or come up with new story beats for the show I was lucky enough to work on, I wouldn't have to pick on somebody like Les Moonves. Whether he likes it or not, he's a celebrity. He's certainly more of a celebrity than Nick Counter. I bet Counter lives in a bunker, like Dick Cheney... Hey, that's a movie: Those two dicks living together in a nuke-proof bunker. The last two dicks on Earth... Obviously, the story would be sci-fi/horror... Anyway, on with the list:

1. Les (on phone): “Times are tough and the entire network is strapped for cash. Trust me, we’re all making sacrifices.” A horse neighs in the background. Les covers the phone and yells out: “Would someone feed Caruso?!”

2. Kid #1: “This is crazy! I’m so hungry, I can’t even come up with bits!” Kid #2: “Yeah, where’s the butler with lunch? We ordered, like, hours ago.” Julie: “Jeeves called and said the restaurant was running behind. Now keep working on those ‘Big Brother’ game ideas for Mommy.” Kid #1: “I knew we should’ve just ordered from Katsuya.” He shrugs and stamps his feet, then: “I hate writing.”

3. Julie: “Les, you’ve been screwing the writers all day. Now come to bed and screw me.” Les: “I can’t. I’m trying to write the finale to ‘Ghost Whisperer.’” Julie: “Just rip off ‘The Sixth Sense.’” Les: “And make Jennifer Love Hewitt dead this whole time? That’s crazy… Crazy enough for an Emmy!”

4. Les (on phone): “I’m telling you, taking contestants up in helicopters, arming them with sniper rifles and letting ‘em shoot at striking writers is ratings gold… Okay, but passing on this idea should get you fried in the electric chair too!”

5. Les: “How was your day?” Julie: “Great. I made butternut squash soup with chef Bobby Flay, interviewed tennis legend Bjorn Borg about his new line of wooden rackets, and then I – I –” Les: “Is everything all right?” Julie: “Oh, I’m fine. The teleprompter just stopped.”

6. Les: “How were the kids today? Any trouble?” Butler: “No, they were fine. We gave ‘em a good, long run this morning. They’re getting brushed down in the stables now.”

7. Les: “Would you ever consider a threesome with one of your ‘Early Show’ co-hosts?” Julie: “I don’t know. Maybe. Hannah’s kind of cute.” Les: “Forget her. What about Harry Smith? He can be my big brother any day.”

8. Les: “Hey, has Hannah Storm asked about me at all recently?” Julie: “No. Why?” Les: “Oh. No reason. Say, totally unrelated, would you like to be an Executive Producer on the next ‘Big Brother’?”

9. Butler: “Sir, where would you like the weekly cash delivery to be stored?” Les: “In the money barn as usual, Jeeves.” Butler: “Ah yes, but the money barn is full, sir.” Les: “The “Girlfriends” and “The Game” writers’ offices are empty. Stack my bills there.”

10. Les: “Why did your principal call me?” Kid: “It’s stupid. The school store employees are threatening to go on strike because I won’t honor their online tater-tot incentive program.” Les: “Well, why won’t you?” Kid: “Because I don’t know how our new internet school store is going to do yet.” Les: “Oh, well, that makes perfect sense. I’ll handle it, go play with your meerkats.”

TV Writers Need Your Support -- Honk Your Horn!

Please visit UNITEDHOLLYWOOD.COM to learn all about the current Writers' Strike. The media isn't portraying writers fairly. We're only asking to be compensated for the work we do. ... I know, shocking, right?!

Writers are picketing in front of all the studios in town. Cars show their support by honking their horns. I say, wherever you are, if you agree with the writers, honk your horn. Wherever the hell you are. Just honk it. Let 'er rip.

On the State Political front, the Governor of Cauwleefornia basically did nothing and simply said if the opposing sides are willing to meet to discuss, they should give him a call. Lord help us, I hope he doesn't use this opportunity to rush "Kindergarten Cop 2" into development. Personally, I think there's more to explore between the character dynamic of Arnold and Sinbad from that Christmas movie years ago.

[12/15/07 Note: Some jerk on the picket line this week told me that Arnold getting involved with arbitration would be bad because he's known as a union buster. Funny, I thought he was known for "Twins," "Commando," and bagging a Kennedy.]